As a
follow-up to Lynne’s recent post in support of brevity in your writing, here
are some other things to take in to consideration in your writing:
1. Know your audience.
Are they close to you? Can you skip the
boilerplate? The tone of writing of my
colleague in gift planning is very differently than that of the annual fund
gift officer soliciting young alumni.
2. Make it about them.
No doubt you’re familiar with the
acronym BOY: Because Of You. A great letter is not “here’s what we did
last year” but “because of your support we were able to…” Run your communication through a word
counter. How often do you use the words I and We in contrast to You. Consider the difference between these two
phrases: “We fed 5.4M children last
year” versus “With your help, we fed 5.4M children last year.”
3. Be conversational.
I advocate using contractions in
acknowledgements and solicitations.
You’re writing to a friend, ideally a true believer to your cause. Resist the urge to fall into academic-speak!
4. Be unique.
I cringe at the letters that begin “Fall is
here, the leaves are changing, and students have returned to campus.” I think it’s safe to say that sentiment is true
of every educational institution north of the Mason-Dixon Line. What is unique about your institution? Try
instead something more like this: Dust
off your ga-ga ball and pick out your Shabbat outfit, because spring is in the
air, and for us at Camp Young Judaea that can only mean one thing: it’s time to
great ready for CAMP!
5. Be direct.
You don’t have a lot of time to connect
with your reader. Supposedly you have 20
seconds to grab your reader, and that includes the eight seconds it takes to
open the envelope. If you’re making an
ask, make it at least twice, once at the beginning (but not necessarily the
opening paragraph) and again at the end.
6. Tell a story.
I call this putting a face on
philanthropy. People give to people or
causes, not for the simple reason that you need money. The best example of this is the well-known
Charity: Water story of Helen Apio.
In four short
paragraphs the reader learns that Helen doesn’t have water in her village, and she
must make the long walk each day to fetch water. Once she has it, she faces the difficult
decision of whether to drink it, clean clothes, or water her garden. But thanks to your gift to Charity: Water,
you’ve changed Helen’s life for the better.
Charity: Water has composed a mini-Shakespearean tragedy albeit with a
happy ending. Problem, struggle, reader
empathy, happy outcome.
7. Show impact.
Be specific about how their support
will make a difference. At Skidmore we
often use the statistic that last year we provided 20 full-need scholarships
from the collective impact of gifts of less than $100.
8. Have a call to action.
There’s a reason why late night
infomercials insist you call within the next 15 minutes. Give your reader a task and a timeline: Make your Presidents Society gift by May 31!
9. Rest and edit.
Once you’re written your solicitation
or acknowledgement, put it aside. Good
writing, like good wine, benefits from an opportunity to breath. Then edit the heck out of it!
What
principles do you follow in your advancement writing?
Thank you to Mary Solomons for her fantastic addition to the donor relations Guru blog this week!
