Top three ways, top five mistakes, Letterman’s top ten.

This is a fantastic guest post from my friend, mentor, and colleague Debbie Meyers at Carnegie Mellon University, I love it and I hope you do too!

We love lists. Bulleted and numbered lists, particularly with pictures, help us condense complex ideas or remember lengthy instructions. And mnemonics: “every good boy does fine” for treble clef, “roy-g-biv” for colors of the spectrum.

So here’s my top-ten list of lessons learned in my donor relations career, with a helpful mnemonic (RELATIONS!) and pictures.

1.     R is for READ.

Author Stephen King says, ““If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

Ever wonder why you had to write all those papers in school? And why they were so hard to write? Because you weren’t sure what to say. It’s not that you didn’t know what the underlying themes were in a novel, the problem was there were so many!

  Writing forces you to choose what to include and exclude. It makes you come to the point. If you’re a good writer, you’ve got a great shot at being a clear thinker and an articulate speaker – all great skills for donor relations. So read!

2.     E is for EXPECTATIONS.

Know what is expected of you. Every chance you get, prove you’re doing it.

Recently I heard about an annual giving director who worked like crazy to get her school’s participation rate up, only to find out that her boss was more interested in actual dollars. Do you know what your boss expects of you? Or are you doing what *you* think you should be doing, or working on only the things you like and are good at?

Sounds simple, but have a clear plan in place for yourself or your department, articulate that plan to your supervisor and peers, and ask them for a constant evaluation on how you are doing. At worst, they’ll say you need to improve. At best, they’ll praise you for a job well done.

3.     L is for LISTEN.

In life and on the job, practice active listening skills: your eyes open and attentive, mouth closed, body language relaxed and open.

With irate donors, let them do the talking. Refrain from defending yourself and take the time and patience to hear what they are truly upset about. Ask yourself why the person is upset. When you have that answer, ask why again. Keep asking why until you get to the real issue. Then you can do your job effectively and heal that relationship.

Once I tried to explain to a donor why he got a pledge reminder when he had already paid the pledge for his fellowship. I got into this detailed story about how data is pulled and then it has to be reviewed and obviously our paths crossed in the mail... He shut me up quickly by saying, “I don’t care how you do it. Just fix it.”

He then went on to talk about how important the fellowship was to him, and why he established it. This wasn’t about a computer or data glitch that made him cranky. It was about something he valued deeply, and the trust he wanted to have in our ability to steward his fund well. You can’t fix the past, but by listening carefully, you can learn how to repair the present and prepare for the future.

4.     A is for ASSERTIVE.

Our profession often dictates that we remain in the background so the spotlight is on our donors and our organization. Sometimes it requires us to fall on the sword for someone else in our organization, for the good of the cause. And that’s fine. But it doesn’t mean we have to be martyrs or doormats.

 

As donor relations practitioners, we constantly battle the perception that our main contributions are tying bows and throwing parties. The difference between planning a party and planning an effective donor appreciation event is like the difference between affixing a band aid and curing a disease. A strategically planned even with meaningful messaging and clearly articulated outcomes can change a donor’s life and your institution’s future. A well written endowment report that shows impact and gratitude can lead to a multi-million dollar gift.

So if you want a seat at the decision-making table, ask for it. If you want a promotion and can show objective value to your organization, ask for it. If you need more staff to make a bigger impact on your institution’s ability to nurture donors and raise more money, ask for it. Hmmm, maybe A is for ASK!

5.     T is for TEAM.

Play well with others on your team. Get to know your team. Learn who can help you reach success, and determine how you fit in with the rest of the team.

 

With organizations becoming more horizontal, it’s not as obvious where one staff member starts and another begins. Find out who your go-to person is for critical needs. Conversely, let them know how you can help them. Reinforce your value to the team in a helpful, service-oriented way.

And of course, the corollary to this notion is the Golden Rule. Be positive about others, and if you can’t be positive, keep quiet.

6.     I is for INFORMED.

Keep up with latest trends and best practices in your field. Network. Attend conferences, seminars and webinars. Know enough about a wide variety of donor relations functions to make thoughtful, well-informed decisions.

 

Go on site visits to similar organizations. Sometimes being in another work setting teaches you as much about who you are not as who you are. Search job postings. Even if you’re not interested in applying for another job, it’s a great way to learn what is going on in our field.

Though a Puritan heritage may say otherwise, there’s nothing wrong in acknowledging that you’re well versed in a particular field or subject matter. “Expert” comes from the Latin verb meaning to experience or try. So in a sense, we’re all experts at what we’ve experienced. Assuming we learn from our actions, we can all stake a claim in being an expert in something! What are you an expert in? Name three things. Go.

7.     O is for ORGANIZATION.

Learn how to organize your email. My email inbox contains only the items I need to follow up on. The rest are in electronic folders. Every six months, I clean out old folders. Control F is no excuse for hoarding and cluttering.

 

Invest some time in establishing naming conventions so you can name documents in a way that they are easily recognized and retrieved. For instance, your resume should not be titled “resume.doc.” Use initials, dates, document type – whatever it takes and makes the most sense.

Organization also means your institution. You should be fluent in facts and figures about your institution that donors or even the common person on the street would ask. How many students receive financial aid? How many beds are in your hospital? What types of art does your museum have in its permanent collection? What is your mission? Make sure you have your elevator speech down pat.

8.     N is for NOD.

When you make a mistake, nod to yourself while saying this mantra: I own up to it, I will learn from it and I will move on.

 

Nod your head. One, two, three. Repeat as necessary.

This is what responsible adults do: we acknowledge our role in a mistake, apologize, fix what we can and then get back to work. We do not blame others. We do not play victim, nor do we beat ourselves up. Fretting never helps. If you act immediately, sincerely and positively, you will be seen as a person of character and strength rather than a goof.

9.     S is for STRENGTHS.

Though I can’t cite the source, I once read about a theory that says, rather than trying to improve your weaknesses, you’re better off enhancing your strengths. It’s all about return on investment.

Think about it in terms of sports. Say you stink at playing basketball, but you’re better than average at football. Why would you spend all your time practicing basketball to get only marginally better, when you could devote your time entirely to football and get drafted into the NFL?

Apply that theory to work. Event planning is not my best skill, so I leave it to the experts. The event planners, in turn, ask my help in pulling data for the mailing lists and RSVPs. Should I work harder at planning events? Should they work harder at understanding data? I don’t think so. I’d do better to keep pushing technology to improve their operations, and they should keep focusing on making each event better than the last. Two excellents > two mediocres.

To make RELATIONS ten characters, I included an exclamation point, which stands for: YAY!!!

Forget about title and status. Choose a job that makes you go YAY!!! If that’s not the job you have, then find bits and pieces in that job that make you go YAY!!! And if you still come up dry, volunteer or become active in a professional organization.

Go find your YAY!!! You deserve it and need it.

YAY!!!! (DONOR) RELATIONS!!